Alive
Caroline and my wedding bands on September 3, 2016.
The struggle to persevere is as old as humanity itself.
Millions around the world are finding that their personal liberties have been and are continuing to be squeezed or even blotted out. The screws are being tightened. With the pandemic and related goings on, we’ve all seen it in some way.
There is hope, though. Amidst some recent positive news of the restoration of personal liberty for some people across the pond, I recently spoke with a “more seasoned” colleague and mentor at my office with whom I share a lot of perspective. He referenced the incredibly bold and gutsy Lt Ronald Speirs from Easy Company, the “Band of Brothers:”
“The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function: without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends upon it.”
We agreed that we could understand what he was saying. In a sense, he’s partly right. Fight hard. You don’t know when your time is up, so you might as well live intentionally and with as much vigor as you can. But then, my colleague suggested a better way of looking at things.
“You’re alive, you just don’t know it yet.”
The truth is, we know the outcome of the story. We know the end of the book. We know Christ won and will always come out as the victor. There is no other reality, no matter how we as people so easily delude ourselves, no matter how many times we let that seed of doubt grow into days, months, or years of despondency, searching, and aimless spiritual wandering. No amount of semi-depressing yet painfully relatable music on Spotify will fill that void.
Once we accept God’s love, mercy, redemption, grace, and victory in our hearts, we will still struggle on earth, but we have gained perspective and His strength. I have found that although some are blessed with major, dramatic conversions of heart, most have seemingly smaller and even more frequent reconversions. More often than I’d like to admit, I realize I’ve been prideful and a fool and strayed from what is good and holy. Through His mercy and His work in my weakness, I find enhanced peace, understanding, and faith in His Will.
Inside my wedding band is the inscription “1 Tim 6:12 Fight the Good Fight.” It serves as a reminder for my mission in life. Despite my iniquity, despite my faults and foibles and failings, I must struggle and work to ally myself with the One who is victorious. It’s a path that is guaranteed to incur worldly suffering, and perhaps more than I can imagine. But it’s the only way that’s worth living. I can’t unlearn the Truth I’ve learned, and frankly I don’t want to unlearn it.
Keep fighting. The struggle is worth it. We will finish the race.
-MJVW