Kinfolk

Kinship in action, July 2022.

My maternal patriarch (and his bride) recently prompted pondering, discussion, and writing on the topic of kinship. I’ve been chewing on this for a few weeks, and I think it’s a fine topic to use in my effort to dust off this ol’ blog.

Since 2022, in large part due to significant family anniversaries, and by the hand of the Good God, relationships were rekindled and created. In the last few years, elements of our family that stretch across two continents joined in delightful conversation, merriment, and glorious togetherness with her equally lovely and elusive compatriot, sweet time. My children mingled with my godfather’s children - something that always seemed nigh impossible. Yet, gracefully, there we were; God willing, events like these should continue.

During the Sacrament of Penance years ago, an old priest once recited a line to me he’d clearly used many times - you have to love your family, warts and all. Although not polite to suggest that family members might have, er - witch or toad-like qualities - I knew what he meant. Your blood matters. My father - a fine man of many thoughts and actions, but often few words - impressed this on me many years ago.

I think, simply put, we are given (and/or generate) families not simply out of necessity, but because God wills for us to exist with others in closeness. There are many mysteries surrounding our existence, but one thing that relieves me is my simple trust that the Father has given us a worthy chance to know deep affection for each other. This shows us a mere semblance of His love for each of His creations.

I found this reality bubbling to the surface at holy mass today, Palm Sunday. I was holding my toddler son in the back of the Church. This little guy steals my heart regularly. The notion popped in my head, “how you feel about him is how God feels about you.” For someone who has denied God’s love for me like a bad addiction over the years, I halfheartedly tried to brush off the thought. But, it stuck.

Amidst and in spite of the decay of the West, I intend to maintain relationships with my loved ones, build new ones as time and opportunity permit, and pour into my children the fire of love for their blood (and those dear friends who have earned a seat at our family table). It’s exceedingly difficult to maintain closeness due to distance, but we will aim for that. We will also invest intentionally where we reside. Society benefits when citizens zero in on small, attainable, and realistic units - families and neighbors, parishes and town gatherings, colleagues and fire pit friends. Respect from family units extends to other family units when a society writ large shares the values of family, life, and even leisure. And, I assert that even in a world of 8 billion people and radically different cultures, small scale love and respect will diffuse flash points, even prevent wars on the global scale. More on that another day.

In a practical sense, having a safety net when the wolves are at the door or the bullies won’t leave you alone make a world of difference to anyone in his or her vulnerability. In an ideal world, young and old alike are able to steep in each others’ good qualities, round off the hard edges, learn lessons, grow in spiritual depth, and enjoy the passing of time throughout life.

To end, I look forward to a month of celebrations with loved ones upon the arrival of our newest little one. Cheers, to my kinfolk.

-MJVW