Woman

I never felt such a calmness when meeting a woman for the first time as I did with her. It wasn’t an immediate, overwhelming physical attraction, or intensive eye contact like in the movies...it was just peaceful simplicity. She was right there in that dormitory hallway as my buddy and I helped move in her friend’s boxes for the semester. 

Six months later, we went on our first couple of dates. Three years after that, we were married. Four years after that, we’ve lived in three states, had two children, bought a minivan, and attempted to raise a Golden Retriever puppy (the latter didn’t work out). 

Many of my closest friends have probably heard this story a time or seven by now. I’m not sure why I love telling it so much. Perhaps it’s because I’m secretly proud of how innocently we started our story -- as friends who eventually made the leap into something more. Maybe I want to share all the blessings we’ve received through our union. Whatever the case may be, I am starting to understand what I have.

When we started dating 7 years ago, I knew she was the marrying kind. Heck, I’m confident I knew that the day I met her. Somehow, you just know when someone is different, and you know in your gut she’s not the type to let slip away. 

I learned quickly that both of us are, well, strong willed, to say the least. A few months ago, I finally understood that it’s not weak to yield to the will of your spouse. When you start working together and divvying up responsibilities in a relationship based on strong suits, you start empowering each other. You start seeing a glimpse of what love actually looks like.

Marriage isn’t made by the starry-eyed moments. They certainly make life together more enjoyable, but those aren’t what carry your family through one deployment after another. That’s character, grit, and above all, grace.

As long as I live, I will never forget the awe I experienced watching her give birth to our children. Just as awe-inspiring, though, has been watching her nurture our two girls, one day at a time. I’ve seen her hold our babies at 2:00 in the morning and 2:00 in the afternoon with the same tender embrace. I’ve seen astronomical amounts of patience with our toddler, and with me just the same. 

I met her when she was 20, but everything her family has ever told me confirms what I knew since that January dorm hallway encounter. My wife has always had such a grace and genuine creative spirit about her. I learned about it when her Momma told me about her childhood games, skill with dance, and countless instances of her creativity. I experienced it when her Dad shook my hand with tears in his eyes and welcomed me into her family. I experience it every time I’m on the road with work and she gets the kids on FaceTime just to tell me about ballet lessons or riding our friends’ horses.

Best of all, I know that no matter how hard I try to put all of this into words, I’m coming up short. The Good Lord knows her good, good heart, and He’s letting me get to know it too. 

I love you, Caroline - here’s to our many more years of learning how blessed we all are to have you in our lives.

xo

- MJVW